I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize