Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
