Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
