This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize