HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
