I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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