I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
