ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
