you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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