I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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