508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
