ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
