Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
