i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
