Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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