Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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