I puked a lego.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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