PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
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she said she was living bicuriously through me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
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Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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