And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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