People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
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She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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