I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
