I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
