Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
