By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
