I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
