just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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