Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
