I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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