just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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