I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
