I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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