I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
