Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
