I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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