covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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