You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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