Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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