Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
