Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
