I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
