so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
only you would photoshop your dick
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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