Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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