i'm signing you up for texting rehab
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
