just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So much rum. So many feels.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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