Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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