I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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