The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And then my night got REAL pukey
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
