Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Enjoy the penises
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
