3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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