Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
