I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
