i permit you to call me
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
