OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
