I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
