so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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